I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize