that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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