I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize