You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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