no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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