You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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