is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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