We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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