Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize