They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize