Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize