i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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