Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
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You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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