Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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