How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize