the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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