the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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