he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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