my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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