We're facebook friends in real life
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize