I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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