So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize