In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if only i could text you this smell
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so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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