What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize