just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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