i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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