There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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