she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Never underestimate the power of titties
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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