Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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