Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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