My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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