found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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