your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
third nipple confirmed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize