last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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