Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize