allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize