i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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