I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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