come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize