just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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