im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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