I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize