We won't sleep together?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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