Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize