I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize