so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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