Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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