I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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