I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize