yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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